by Shelley Horner, MA, MFT
October 14, 2014
What does this word "Mindful"mean?
The word crops up in books, blogs, and websites! Mindful is the
ability to engage our whole brain and whole mind to be fully
present in the moment. Mindful means being aware of our thoughts
and feelings, and attuned to the people who we are in a
relationship with. Attuning emotionally as well as analytically
with other people is essential for meaningful relationships. We
build closeness and develop neural pathways for love and caring.
The young brain actually changes
when it is nourished by attunement from a parent.
Parenting in a mindful way gives your child a rich environment
to feel safe to learn how to regulate
their emotions. Practicing reflective listening and speaking is
important for those of us who maybe didn't grow up being
attuned to by our caretakers. We can help our children learn
how to become capable of emotional
regulation. This is a crucial skill to build
success at school, home and the world.
Mindful Meditation is a relaxation process that allows our
brain to deeply calm itself and integrate. When the external world
seems chaotic, we become stressed
unless we cultivate calm through techniques such as
Mindful parenting is the best hope for the new generations. The
evolution of human kind
is through empathetic parenting! Parents who help their children
develop the whole brain - emotionally, socially, and
analytically -- are the key to success!
For more information, please call me (818)
345-8022 and look at the schedule
of classes on the website.
Listening To Yourself and Others
to listen to our own feelings as well as someone else's is
essential for positive communication. How many of us don't attend
properly to our own feelings and then suffer from physical
complaints such as headaches or stomach aches? To acknowledge and
positively direct ourselves to solve problems that hurt us is
crucial to self-worth. When we can attend to our own feelings
well, we are ready to listen to others. Being able to empathize
and show we understand another's perspective enables others to
feel truly and deeply connected. This is what is meant by having
good intrapersonal and interpersonal communication.
theorists suggest that there are actually seven kinds of
intelligence that include intrapersonal as well as interpersonal
intelligence. When you are capable in these two areas. your life
is usually happier. To increase your ability to listen to
yourself, keep a record of how you feel and what you automatically
think. especially when you feel angry or hurt emotionally. You may
notice after a while that you say the same things to yourself over
and over again such as “I’m not good enough” or “I’m not
adequate.” Once you are aware of how you interpret communication
inappropriately, you can gently steer yourself to respond
positively and more accurately to situations that were previously
distressing in some way. This may improve your relationships
In the next
opinion update I will offer more ways to improve interpersonal
communication including how to express yourself assertively!
Bye for now!